DIOR DIOR DIOR.

John Galliano always does it right. He makes me happy. It's always vintage-y and modern-y in just the right ways. He even made me want to wear peeptoe shoes again! Of course, I adore the equestrian-inspired clothing. Might start carrying a whip around. And the wicked eyebrows. It was pretty much perfect. Of course, Dior Couture rarely inspires cheapo places to make copies (because they can't afford it), but it's such an inspiration to me.

I am lazy and drunk.

That's all I have to say about today. That, and working is a bitch. That is all.

War Is Over.

Seattle.

I am concerned about Seattle. Perhaps I've just grown up, but it seemed it had more of a spark a few years ago. We were something of a cultural force to be reckoned with. Now, I feel we're all a bit washed up. Portland is the place that all the cool kids want to live, Portland has all the new cool bands coming out of it, Portland has a better fashion community. Seattle is stuck in some Microsoft North Face jacket-wearing, aging hipster limbo where nothing seems current enough, no one is creating culture here. Everyone goes around doing their thing, self-effacing, ironic, nothing means anything, everything is some postmodern symbolic rejection of meaning; everything is commodified. Fashion people think they know the people, but they're lagging years behind street style. They consider themselves arbiters of taste, but no one is listening; they talk only to themselves. If they mattered, they'd be in New York, we assume. Not that anything matters anymore. People on the streets don't care about fashion, they care about expression, the expression of a societal ennui. There is no local outlets for art because there is no art. (see: Jean Baudrillard's "The Conspiracy of Art")

Maybe we've all just been living off of the cool vibe that grunge gave us twenty years ago, still trying to hold onto something that's dead. Sure, we had Deathcab for Cutie, that was a brief phase, which is fortunately over. We've gone mainstream. Where are our emerging artists? What are we known for? We're losing to war to Birkenstock-clad mountain climbers.


I've given up on Seattle, and I've only been here a few months. If we're not the future, we could at least have a past. But the past we have is nothing much to brag about.


I keep waiting around to find my people, the ones who I think will create some sort of movement. But I'm afraid the time for movements has passed. I worry about the void left by postmodernism, it really does seem like the end of history, or at least the end of passion. Nothing means anything. Life is absurd. Wear a pair of thick-rimmed glasses, defy societal norms for the sake of irony. Rob the past and all its icons of meaning. Drink your PBR out of a can, steal things from other times, other classes, other cultures in order to prove that no object, no symbol is of any true value, it's all a commodity in a world where buying is the only job left.


I'd get upset about it, but it's all too goddamn ironic, too funny, too meaningless, too much ennui, not enough substance.


And as much as I'd like to deny it, I'm pretty sure it's the same thing everywhere. Seattle is the world. It's the end of culture.

Hope or Ennui?

I know, I know. I've been gone for a few days. This is partly because of working the overnight shift at Macy's, partly due to our internet going out, and partly an "I don't give a fuck" attitude. So sorry, y'all. I'm having some sort of crisis.


I need to get my life on track. I've decided to start applying to grad school ASAP, and I'm especially interested in going to Sciences-Po (Yes, THE Sciences-Po) in Paris to get my Masters in European Affairs (English Track). But until then, I need to look like I'm doing something somehow pertinent to France, government, etc.

I found out that there's an organization in Seattle called "Alliance Francaise", which basically has French classes and French events in the area. I figure I'll volunteer there, in their "mediatheque" (read: library) and maybe help with some events. Maybe by the Spring term, I'll be able to afford to take a French class or two.

So I got the so-desired call from Macy's, the one asking me about staying on as a regular. Of course, we've been playing phone tag now twice, so hopefully we get in touch eventually. It's nice to have a source of income, and it's such a pain to have to look for work, but if I'm going to improve in life, I suppose it must be done.


I was musing the other day about the system, how if you're under 25 years old, you are basically useless. Yes, you have a college degree, but do you have 3 years of experience? No? Then you must work for free, or work at McDonalds. Unless your parents will pay for you through the bulk of your twenties, you cannot achieve much career-wise. Which just completely refutes the idea that we live in some sort of meritocracy, which has always been fallacious, but which no one will acknowledge.


I've been reading some Henry Miller, and my book "Women of the Left Bank" in the last few days, and it's made me nostalgic for Paris. I need Paris, or what it represents for me. I'm not sure where the French infatuation came from, but it has followed me everywhere, and Paris is the only place I'll feel like I've achieved my dream in life. If I were to live in Paris, then what else would matter? Perhaps I'm foisting my insecurities in life on a fantasy city that no longer exists, but it suffices for now.

I'm also going to work on developing my writing, maybe write some short stories or even a novel. I have little practice in fiction, but I suppose the most important thing is to write, and worry about its quality later.


Things are looking up, but it's a long road ahead of me.

Juliet of the Spirits.

Well, I finally saw Juliet of the Spirits, and as usual, Fellini wowed me. Though this film was insanely styled, the clothing on it was amazing. It was basically like the characters lived in a haute couture show. It was a huge spectacle, and I loved it. I now want to be a voluptuous Italian woman with too much money looking completely over the top. This is my new life's goal. I wanna wear lingerie around with a veiled hat and that's it. I wanna cool tree fort with a basket, GODDAMMIT.


And now, some photos.

:<

I just got home from working at Macy's from 7:45-3:15 (That's three IN THE MORNING). During the hours spent counting and recounting belts and scarves for inventories, I developed a rather fiery manifesto about the way young people get screwed over by the figurative "man". I will elaborate tomorrow. But, it's 4:30 am. Time to sleep.

Renee Vivien

Je reviens chercher l’illusion des choses
D’autrefois, afin de gémir en secret
Et d’ensevelir notre amour sous les roses
Blanches du regret.

Women of the Left Bank.

I'm reading about Ex-Patriate Paris and the women writers who lived there. So far I'm reading about Natalie Barney. She was from bourgeouse origins, and became basically the most famous lesbian in Paris. Unlike Gertrude Stein, who considered women "weak" and thought of herself as "one of the boys", Barney attempted to encourage female authors and create a "New Lesbos" of Sapphic poets.


I just really wish I had been born around 1900 and could have been a part of the Modernist movement. Things today seem so blase. Basically it was a search for meaning in spite of the uselessness of the past and the hopelessness of the future. Now we've just given up even trying to do anything meaningful.

<3

Not going to lie. LOVING the mink leg warmers.

Louis Vuitton, Pre-Fall 2010

AHHHHHHHH!!!!

Jezebel tipped me off to this. Needless to say, I think they done went too (TOO!) far. I mean, ewh. I don't think using bestiality to sell clothes is a good idea. Or even if this were an editorial, it is simply not in good taste. It'd be one thing if it were a girl and her dog just hanging out, but the clearly sexual overtones, plus the scant clothes, PLUS o-face while the dog looks up her skirt? TOO FAR. Just, yuck. I have plenty of problems with bestiality in general, namely that you can't get consent from an animal (much as you can't from a child), and harm is generally done, or impossible to tell if it isn't. There's no reason anyone NEEDS to sleep with animals. Betraying an animals trust by using them as a sex slave is not okay by me. And glamorizing it is not much better- I'm sure they were trying to be 'edgy', but I don't think we're all being too sensitive when we give a collective YUCK. I don't necessarily think the dog was bothered/harassed by this, but it was definitely a mistake. A HUGE one.

Narwal Chic.

Worst ten minutes of my Life.

I had the misfortune of watching a few minutes of "The Hills" while at the gym today. Well, they were working for Teen Vogue, and went to New York. One of the girls got to meet Marc Jacobs. This spoiled brat DIDN'T EVEN STAND UP when they shook hands!!!! Apparently manners classes aren't taught in "The Hills". Or she just thought that she considered herself on celebrity par with him, even though he has talent, and she has none to speak of. The other girl made some kind of presentation, that appeared to me to be pretty ill-thought out and pathetic. But at the end, they explained that everyone loved her presentation. (Not because they were being filmed, no, NEVER).


Thank god I'll never have to do that again. That's what the "fuss" is about. Glad that's over.

My Name Is Lolita, and I, I'm not supposed to play. . . with boys!

So according to Style.com, the "Lolita" look is in for Spring.


But by "Lolita", they mean the sexed up Kubrick version and not the Nabakov's tomboyish object of affection.





*Pats self on back for rocking heart-shaped sunglasses circa last summer*



So bows, babydolls, and ankle socks are in in a big way. Because pedophilia is so sexy. Nabakov is one of my absolute favorite authors, and Lolita one of his best, such a satire on America from the point of view of European mutt Humbert Humbert.

Though I love how everyone has their ideas about what's trendy. First, New York Times article about how "silly" frills and bows are, because no one will take you seriously. Except for all this evidence pointing to demure child-like sexiness on the runway. Basically, I take "trends" with a grain of salt, because you can find evidence of any sort of "trend" if you pick and choose from collections enough.

I tend to think people go into two camps. Either camp minimalist, sophisticated, casual, etc., or camp over-the-top, strong point of view, lots of everything, all at once. I am definitely of the second mind. And I have to agree with Tavi, this obsession with "model off-duty" is pretty bland- yeah, skinny jeans, racer-back tanks with oversized sweaters and a hoodie really isn't much of a "statement". And the reason it looks good on models is, well, because they're models. It tends to look frumpy on the average person.


I look forward to more bows, more cute little dresses, more everything chic and adorable.


And I have to say, the last few years have been so good on fashion to me. Finally, stuff from the top reaching real people in some sort of timely fashion. I still remember looking for skinny jeans at a Macy's about five years ago, and having them have no idea what I was talking about, even though it was all over the runways and goddammit, I NEEDED a pair. Ditto looking for skirts that fell somewhere above the calf without being a short denim miniskirt. Maybe part of that was being in a small town with no real retail choices, but I think there's a definite shift to put decent clothes on everyone, immediately, in every price range. And that is definitely an exciting trend for me.

Love the Panties:

Crystal Renn for Glamour. I like this pic (though her face looks vaguely Sandra Bullock-esque, which is odd). It's not so "OMG this is a plus size model, see?!?!" Just a normal, gorgeous picture. Oh, and cute panties, as already noted above.

Contempt.

Yes, I love Brigitte Bardot. She was the first person to completely pull off the totally fake, total sexpot look. Have you looked at her hair? It is totally damaged, totally bleach blonde to all holy hell. She totally isn't put together at all. LOVE IT.


What I do not love? People like Lara Stone and her ilk trying to copy Brigitte. Yes, you've got the tooth gap. But you are no Brigitte. Girl's body is not to be messed with. She was all T&A, not a "curvy" size four. Also, French. Also, amazing. She kind of harkened the modern look. Unrepentant eyeliner, fraudulent everything. Love her.


My favorite movie of hers is obviously Contempt, as JL Godard is my homeboy. (Did I just actually say that? I believe I did). Also, Fritz Lang and total cinema for cinephiles is my favorite thing ever.




She's just complete sex. An idol of adoration who's totally over it. Gah I wanna be her so bad.




Love the nude "Do you like my ________?" "What about my _________?" thing going on. LOVE IT.



Then listen to this amazing song by "The Books". Ha. Love when my favorite bands reference my favorite films, etc.

Belle de Jour.

I just watched the Bunuel directed, Catherine Deneuve pic, and I'm still trying to digest it. SPOILER ALERT: So I think we all know the gist- sexually-repressed bourgeouse woman is married to her rich doctor-husband, but refuses to sleep with him. Her idle days fill her with provocative fantasies, and eventually, when she finds out a mutual friend is working in an upscale brothel, decides to try it herself. At first she is disturbed by it, but eventually she can't stay away and has one customer who is obsessed with her, Marcel, who is some kind of cheap crook. Well, the male friend who told her about this particular brothel in the first place, off-hand, eventually goes there himself, and sees that the supposed virtuous wife is playing whore while the husband is at work. She begs him not to say anything, and she quits that very day. But when she walks home, she finds that Marcel, her dangerous, criminal lover has followed her to her residence and comes in, saying he will refuse to budge until she agrees to meet him for more rendez-vous. She begs him to leave because her husband will be home soon, and so he eventually does, realizing that the thing keeping them apart is this "husband" character. So he waits in a car outside, and shoots hubby, before driving off hurriedly, and eventually getting shot by a cop. After this, her husband is (obviously) ill: blind and wheelchair bound from the shooting. Her strange obsessions end momentarily, as she is playing nurse to her husband. But then the friend who had discovered her in the brothel decides that the husband must know the truth. After he is told, she rejoins her husband, and once again drifts off into a fantasy land, where her husband is back to normal, and it is as though nothing had ever happened, the End, etc.


I suppose part of it is showing that the idle life of the wealthy woman is drab and unpleasant, and being raised in some sort of virtuous bubble is not healthy. However, I find it rather offensive that the family friend thinks it's any of his damn business to tell the husband about her activities, when he is using the brothel services himself, and is also married. Double standard much? We can probably all agree that you can't escape your past, especially when it involves prostitution; also, that no one in 60s knows much about female sexuality. Not that much has changed. I think I need some more time to think it over. Of course, it was gorgeous, Bunuel is amazing, etc.


Now some pictures!!!


"You totally wouldn't get it, housemaid. Sexual fulfillment at the hands of a stranger is WILD!"




"This is my chaste-on-the-outside, wild-on-the-inside look."




After hubby got shot, this is the repentant Catholic guilt look.



This was her kinda hot lover who eventually shot her hubby. Things preventing him from being hotter: pimp wear, including cane, tendency towards violence over nothing, and having creepy silver fake-teeth, because apparently his got knocked out.



Apparently all Catherine Deneuve's stuff was designed by Yves Saint-Laurent. I loved her look when she was wearing a tennis outfit, but of course, no one has that look uploaded on the internet. It was kind of "Parapluies de Cherbourg" esque with all the trenches and simple A-line dresses, though a little more grown-up and less pastels.


Overall, I loved it, but that can be said of most foreign films from the 60s.

Uh-oh H&M.

I go on twitter today and see that H&M is "trending". I quickly find myself sent to this link:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/06/nyregion/06about.html?scp=1&sq=h%20&%20M&st=cse&utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter


Which, to be fair, is a pretty shit thing for them to do.


HOWEVER, what about all the food that supermarkets throw out every day instead of donating them to charity? Also, was this H&M policy, or was this particular store acting abnormally?


It is a question, though. Stores are expected to keep a large amount of retail in stock, but how do you keep supply and demand in check? Maybe these particular items were damaged in transport or were in some way made unsalable. I can see why they cut them up- why would someone pay for H&M clothes if they could rummage out back at night and find brand new stuff for free?

If there is anyone to blame, it is the corporate model that we've vigorously campaigned for, over and over in the US, by giving them tax breaks and making it infinitely easier for corporate models to make money. So, at the end of the day, why are we surprised?

You know what else sucks? That Goodwill hires people to go through the stuff we donate, take out the valuable pieces, and sell them on ebay. And the "service" they provide to communities? Hiring employees that are considered "undesirable" by other industries. Which sounds like "good work" until you realize that the government pays half the pay of any business that hires people designated as using state money to live off of, so they are basically paying $4/hr to their employees instead of minimum wage. At least H&M isn't pretending to be some sort of social service. They're in the game to make money. They are good at what they do. I think there are much worse places to put the axe to. The fact that they make reasonable clothing in somewhat style-savvy cuts is what I am drawn to. I have to admit that half my closet is full of H&M, because I can't afford the same cuts at a Department store.


Yes, it seems embarrassingly wasteful. Yes, they should have been going to charity. But let's not make this a witchhunt. There is plenty of blame to go around.

Wow, crow must taste delicious.

So this is a pic from Karl Lagerfeld's entry into V magazines plus-size issue, called "Coco A Go Go". As I'm apparently supposed to do (sigh) this is from models.com. : http://models.com/v-magazine/v-size-4.html





The editorial is kind of cute, but I'm still wondering: who invited the Kaiser to this party anyways? I thought no one wanted to see fatties. Kind of like how no one wants to hear fashion designers talk. Seriously, if you have an opinion, make clothes about it. We don't want to hear your words, especially when they're ignorant, offensive, and kinda whacko.



I'm also pondering buying these amazing Topshop Harem pants, because I am weird enough to try to work it.



Love the bow. The price is decent, it's the shipping that is holding me back. Why can't there be a Topshop any closer than New York? Yet another reason to move far away, I guess.

Guilty Pleasure.

Vice's Dos and Don'ts :

http://www.viceland.com/int/dos.php


They are cruel, rude, sarcastic, and basically everything I love in life. Total hipster nonsense. If you've never read these before, you've been missing out. But if you haven't, then you must've been hiding under a lame rock your whole life.

Wedding Bells.

Apparently Marc Jacobs and his boyfriend got married in Saint Barthaz. Or maybe they didn't. Who knows?



I am disdainful of his husband if only for the reason that he made him go from adorable, indie-esque, pale, cardigan wearing designer:




to an extra from Jersey Shore:





His clothes are still decent, thank god, but why, WHY?! It's hard for me to respect him when he turned into another vacuous, tan-addicted, gym and diet obsessed casualty of Hollywood.


But I hope he's happy with him, and I guess at the end of the day, that's all that should matter.

The Gym Bums.

So today I was reading an article at Jezebel.com about this website for "Beautiful People" where some "vigilant members" reported in people for having the nerve to "get fat", and they've been removed from the website. When a picture of the site owner surfaced, one Jezebel commentator came up with this AMAZING description of what he would be like at the gym:


"He's totally the guy at the gym who's "so into" working out but only does 5,000 bicep curls (and no cardio) and walks around on teeny-tiny little legs before hitting the sauna (no homo, brah!), taking a shower, spraying on way too much Axe, carefully placing every bit of his "causually mussed" hair, pulling on his tight-but-not-too-tight (again, no homo, brah!) "going out" shirt and kissing his biceps for good luck before going out for a happy hour where he downs too many Red Bull and vodkas and futiley tries to pick up women by telling them they'd "totally pass the test for his website," if they know what he means."

. . .which totally cracked me up, because THAT GUY goes to my gym, too. I think every gym has a guy like that.


And while working out on the elliptical machine today, I saw a ton of people at the gym just dying for descriptions. Here are a few:


The girl next to me, furiously working the elliptical at 160+ steps per minutes for a full hour straight, with the settings set on 10 resistance, sweating profusely, while hunkered over the handlebars, brow completely furrowed. She didn't have an ounce of fat on her, and was wearing nothing but a sports bra and some shorts. I was kind of afraid of her, definitely in awe, and found her body a little scary. Probably because mine has never been anywhere CLOSE to looking like that, but she had that TV-aerobics-video-instructor look where it's like your abs are trying to burst through your skin. Eeks. Take the day off.


Man with a dolphin tattoo. No, it wasn't meant ironically.


//tattoo rant: 95% of tattoos suck. There, I said it. No one cares what the "story" behind yours is. I always have to stop myself from laughing about those. And I hate it when people make it some huge deal about how this chinese character symbolizes their dead great aunt, and every time they look down, it's like a remembrance. I would prefer a photo album and some personal items of theirs than some irrelevant ink tattooed onto my body, but hey, that's just me. Also, your generic butterfly/asian character/sailor jerry tattoo isn't original, just fyi. Oh, and you are not made "edgy" by getting a 1/2" tattoo of a heart on your big toe. Small tattoos just look like you got too drunk with your friends one night. If you're going to do it, at least commit to it.

Also on my hate list: nose studs. Are you singing at Lillith Fair? Do you also do your hair in the three bun things? No? This is not 1996 anymore. Sorry to break it to you.


end rant//

A girl comes in, upset because all the cardio machines are taken. She is wearing full make-up, brand new exercise clothes, and she is tiny. In fact, all I saw where her boobs should be was ribcage. You can go ahead and take the day off too, sweetie.


New gym people, loitering around when I got there today. I see an empty treadmill, and look around. No one makes a move, so I go over there and get on it. Then, I see that an elliptical freed up a few minutes later. I kept checking back every ten seconds to see whether or not someone got on it. No one did. So I get off the treadmill and get on the elliptical. I get glared at by all the "new people", and some one comes by a few seconds later to ask me how long I'm going to be on it. IT WAS FREE FIVE MINUTES AGO. YOU DIDN'T GET ON!!! Like, am I doing this wrong, or are they just that unassertive?! What were they waiting for?!?! An invitation to come in the mail?


This girl wasn't in today, but a month or two ago, a tiny, clearly anorexic woman comes in. The flair on her gym pants were wider than her hips, that's how small we're talking. She doesn't work out. She walks over to the rack that holds the magazines, and opens up a page of a cooking magazine to a giant picture of a burger, and stares at it for several seconds, before leaving the room. Okay, we get it. You don't eat. But WHY YOU ARE HERE?


The thing is, the gym is such a weird place for me, because I don't identify with gym people. I hate working out. The only reason I do it is so I don't look fat (I am still hopelessly insecure, okay? I get it. It's fucked up. But the pressure to look good is still there). I don't want to look like someone who works out, I want to look like someone naturally skinny. And being there just ends up making me feel weird and dirty, like we're all in this self-loathing club and we're all comparing ourselves to others, and we hate our bodies. Such a strange sensation.


Also, lately I've been acting bitchy for no real reason. It might be because I'm not working anymore and don't have anything to complain about anymore, and I'm also just kinda bored. I was also raised in a household where family members who do, in fact, love each other, tease each other and bicker constantly, so things like that don't really seem serious to me. It gave me a thick skin, I guess, but no one told me that the rest of the world wouldn't have skin so thick.

I don't know, I think my teen years were total shit and I was made fun of, and my self-esteem was at a zero, so I figured the only way to survive intact was to be self-depreciating and break myself down instead of letting someone else do it, like a comedian does. And so I find it so bizarre when someone engages in some behavior that can be perceived of as boastful or braggy, and so I kind of want to knock them down. I don't know why that is; there's no reason for it. Also, I think I find many aspects of human behavior so amusing that I draw attention to it even though it will apparently make others self-conscious.

I guess I need to just watch myself. There are aspects of my personality that have served me well, like being assertive and not taking shit from others, that have helped me survive. Unfortunately, these can also harm the people I love and care about.


It's also kind of a question of me attempting to buck stereotypes. I don't want to be the typical maternal, sweet, giving, conscientious woman. It just seems cliche and outdated. I'm much more drawn to a female persona that is strong, assertive, wanton, and even cruel. I guess I just always wanted to be the girls in songs that boys write when they get broken up with, not some lily-white sweet girl that everyone loves.


But anyways, I'll try to work on it, as best I can, and hopefully I can be a better person to those who care about me.

I WANT I WANT

Jean-Pierre Braganza

Apparently the print on the pants is taken from photographs of carnival ferris wheels at night. Amazed.

8 1/2

http://www.style.com/beauty/icon/121109_Fellini_Girls/

Found this little tribute to "Fellini's Women". In which they found the most conventionally attractive of all Fellini's film stars, and idealized them.

Which made it kind of "meh".



I prefer my favorites:


Nights of Cabiria.




8 1/2


Amarcord




8 1/2 again.


Whoever put the other list together clearly looked at the Italian man's madonna-whore dichotomy, and focused solely on the madonna part, which also includes the most boring characters in all Fellini films. The whores are where all the fun is at! They are the only interesting characters! I'd much rather lounge around looking at Dylan's copy of "Fellini's Faces" than have this list, where they throw Penelope Cruz in because of Nine, even though I'm of the mind that Fellini WOULDN'T be absolutely in love with her, contrary to what you think, Style.com!

If I Modeled for This, I'd be Pissed.

New trend- Mannequin chic.

Brodarte Knockoff?

There's abuzz about the fact that apparently the new "Brodarte" line in fact, resembles a few pieces from Comme de Garcons in S 06. Here's what it looked like back then:





Whenever these arguments come up, I mostly shrug. Fashion recycles things. Whenever I see a peplin on a jacket, I don't say "OMG TOTAL RIPOFF OF DIOR S/S '48!!! I don't think either of them invented knitting little thread in garter stitch on huge needles. My first knit scarf could've told you that.


Though I definitely think that while it was a rather minor thing in CdG, Rodarte has made it their "thing". And I'm totally into the black knit stockings.






So much so that I'm buying some back mohair yarn tomorrow and fashioning my own pair. Yeah, you should be jealous. :3

Had a few minutes before Dylan and I start a film, so I thought I'd look around the Kitsune clothes shop, as I was thinking about them earlier. They have a few tees that are pretty awesome.

Love the fox. Which is what Kitsune means in Japan. Even though it's a french fashion line/electronica label. Got it?


The film nerd inside me likes this one.



The nihilist in me likes this one.

This is weird.

And I like it.


Steve Meisel, Balenciaga ad.